Welcome Readers of The Truth!

Author Neil Strauss has recently released a book, The Truth, describing his personal journeys experimenting with non-monogamy.  Neil’s previous book was The Game, a look at the highly questionable and sexist world of pickup artists.  I am in The Truth, handing out polyamorous advice in that way I do – you can read the excerpt here.

If you are visiting from that link or because you found me after reading the book, welcome to the blog!

I have been attempting non-monogamy my entire dating life, but the first twelve years were a complete disaster.  Thankfully, the following years were much better.  And so now I hold workshops on how to do it better than I did.  I am currently well-ensconced in the San Francisco Bay Area with a live-in partner and four girlfriends, all of whom have other partners.  We are really doing polyamory – it is really a thing, and it can really be everything that folks dream of.

If you want my quick-and-dirty rundown of how to actually be non-monogamous, check out this guide.  If you are a man interested in non-monogamy take a look at this writing.  Check out the left sidebar for my various other writings, which cover a range of topics but are uniformly long and sometimes dense.  For more quick hits about non-monogamy and activism, see my twitter.

5 Responses to “Welcome Readers of The Truth!”

  1. S Says:

    You are truly doing the Lord’s work. I admire your ability to give helpful advice, even if there seems like there would be absolutely no way for Neil’s train wreck of a poly relationship to possibly succeed. And despite your help, he decides to make fun of your name in a blog post (and presumably his book.) How on earth did you meet such a shallow person so completely lacking in self-awareness? Based on your writings, I just imagine him as being the alternate universe bizarro-world image of you.

    • pepomint Says:

      You are correct that the situation was not likely to succeed from the start – throwing together four fairly-new-to-nonmonogamy folks in an intense living situation is typically a recipe for disaster. Still, as the book describes, they managed to make a good go at it for a while.

      And you are also correct that Neil and I come from very different worlds and viewpoints. However, I think that in a different set of circumstances Neil could have ended up happily non-monogamous – again as the book describes, he certainly enjoyed some aspects of it. I think this is true of many people, that given the right circumstances they could end up happily non-monogamous or happily monogamous.

      As for my name, long ago I purposefully chose a fairly ridiculous name for myself. Ridicule is part of the point – anywhere my name goes, surreality and hilarity follow. So I’m fine with people having fun with it.

  2. melissa danielle Says:

    So I just read the post, and I’m confused as to why you didn’t present additional options for their relationship dynamic.

    Why did they have to date/have sex as a group? Why couldn’t each woman have their own time/day with Neil? Did Neil have to be the only man or could the women have their own relationships outside of him/the house?

    Perhaps these answers are in the book, but it’s curious that these options weren’t on the table during that conversation.

    As I fall into the “solo poly” category, I am grateful that I do not have to navigate what feels like such a restrictive space.

    • pepomint Says:

      Hi Melissa,

      The book does elaborate on a lot of this stuff, actually. For example, most of their sexual interactions were one-on-one, and the women were free to date elsewhere, though given the setup I don’t think they had time to develop options.

      That said, I was brought in to deal with, and mostly concerned with, the tense living situation. So that’s what I was addressing in that advice.


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